Shining Armor

I keep falling off my horse. Keep wanting to write but don't. I do so even when I have all the F'N time in the world to do so. God! Maybe procrastination is a freakin' disease! Wishful thinking, I know. Were it a disease or disorder of some kind, there would already be a pill with it's own commercial that would air during a broadcast of CSI or during Letterman or something. No. Procrastination is just me being lazy. So much for writing once a week. I mean, it's not like I don't have anything to write about. I've been caught up in a frenzy of emotions. None of them are my own. As usual, I've fallen victim to the prowess of my attributes. Namely, I've been problem solving. Not the mathematics kind (although there was a shitload of money involved) but the emotional and, dare I say, spiritual kind. Hell! I'm still trying to solve some of them. Some are my own. Most are not. Some aren't even problems at all (in my eyes, that is) while others are just a little too ridiculous to mention but I'll mention them anyway so as not to hide anything.

1. My Tyger, who now lives a few states away, is a bit upset that I do not call her.


2. Daisy is in love but with someone that clearly wasn't ready for her and, truth be told, she isn't completely ready for it either.


3. In saving Dolly's ass with a ridiculous money loan, I left my ass unprotected.


4. I need a fucking vacation!


5. I need to get laid often on this fucking vacation! (Seriously! I think I'm going to kill someone if I don't!)


6. My job is a dead end job but there isn't anything better out there so I have to suck it up.


7. I have yet to complete any paperwork that would entitle me to my GI Bill benefits.


8. Bills, bills, bills.


9. I have a bar tab again.


10. I still haven't found my old man.

Those are just some to name a few. Sometimes I forget about a problem until I come across it again. Sometimes, people come find me for help. I'm a sucker for that one. I love playing the Knight in Shining Armor far too much to stop helping others and putting their problems before mine. I mean, you're taught that growing up. Be generous. Be helpful. Moreover, I'm Catholic. That whole "Do unto others..." thing gets drilled into your psyche if you're paying attention.

Truth is, I have to start being selfish, if only a little, so I can help me help myself. However, I don't know if I can and deep down, I really don't want to. If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times: I live to serve.